Would You Rather by Shannon Hollinger

Author:Shannon Hollinger [Hollinger, Shannon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-01-08T00:00:00+00:00

33

Rachel

I cringe as Manny leaves the classroom. He didn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve any of the crap people give him. If I could make it stop, I would, but I’m too scared that taking a stand will shift the target to my own back, and that’s not a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Not like Oliver.

Maybe that’s why Manny drew the picture of Oliver as a superhero. I mean, besides the fact that Oliver looks the part. But I guess to Manny, Oliver played the part, too.

That would explain why he looked so sad when he was staring at Oliver’s empty desk. Because Oliver wouldn’t have allowed what just happened to Manny. Oliver would have taken the stand that I’m too chicken to take.

Feigning a yawn, I palm a pill into my mouth, needing to dull some of my tension and nerves. Yeah, I was angry when Oliver was outed. I mean, hello? I was his girlfriend. He should have told me. I should have known. But even as I think it, I know better. He was right to keep it a secret.

If knowledge is power, I would have wielded that sword like the Black Knight in Game of Thrones. I thought Oliver was a bad person. And until recently, I thought I was a good one.

But I was wrong—about us both.

Good girls don’t do the things I’ve done. I know that. But it’s not like it was ever my intention to be what I’ve become. But it also wasn’t something meant to be, not destiny or kismet or fate. Because it was me, my fault. I made it happen.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

I just wasn’t used to having someone make me feel the way Teddy did. Interesting. Worthy. Special.

And I didn’t want to lose that.

His was the attentive, patient ear that I’d always wanted. I could depend on him, rely on him to always make time for me. I didn’t want to lose that, either, even if it was just part of his mentoring process.

He was tutoring me in self-confidence. Helping me overcome my anxiety. Find my self-worth.

And in doing so he created a monster. Or maybe the truth is that I always was one. I don’t really know.

What I do know is, everything about that day was different.

I don’t even remember why I called him now, but it was probably something silly, someone’s eyes lingering too long on my thighs, making me feel fat, or a snide comment from some frenemy that made me feel lonely or insecure. Or maybe I just felt like garnering his attention. Whatever it was, my fingers were itching to make the call long before I made it. Any excuse would have worked.

I drove out to meet him at one of his dad’s warehouses on the outskirts of town, just before civilization gives way to the miles of swampland on the edge of the county. It was the first time we hadn’t met somewhere public. The first time we would be truly alone.

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